- - by Razas
Chapter 10: Progression
We re-enter Stratholme to find our gruesome ghouls playing a game of poker over some organs and limbs, grumbling the entire time. Tony seems to be winning, with Albert in close second. Jeff has no arms, and is playing with the cards in his mouth.
Tony: And I call as well. Full house.
Albert: Dammit! That's the rest of my food for the week!
Jeff: Mffm mprgh grlgle Mrphle.
Tony: For the last time, I have nothing up my sleeve! I don't even have sleeves. and nothing under my arms either!
Jeff spits out the cards, then glares at Tony: Tony, you've been taking all our extra food for weeks now. What's up with that, man?
Tony sighs, then looks around: I'm bored as hell. Alex is gone on his epiphany thing, so I can't make fun of him. Nobody comes around anymore that we can beat....
Albert: Dear Arthas.... it's the first depressed undead. What EVER shall we do?
Tony: Nah, I'm not depressed. Just angry. I mean, what are we supposed to do against guys that can fight us one on one and win? Aren't we supposed to be some of the Elite troops of the Scourge? We freaking live in Stratholme, we're beefed up pretty hardcore.... and we can't even make a dent in some of these guys.
Albert: Ok, yeah, I know what you mean. It does suck. We're stuck here, and it's like no one even seems to care about us anymore! We're supposed to be able to purge the world of the living, but we can't do that while we're stuck here.
Jeff: Eh, it's all simple math. We don't have all the good stuff anymore. Everyone's visiting Nefarian's treasure horde and kicking Ragnaros in the jimmies. So they go there, and if they come back here, they just eat us alive.
Tony: Jeff, that's the first smart thing you've said in a long while. And does Ragnaros HAVE "jimmies?"
Albert: Well, he is the ultimate lord of fire... and he does have "Sons" right?
Jeff: That's what I always thought. He's gotta have jimmies somehow...
Tony: All right, point. But who's Mrs. firelord?
Albert, Tony, and Jeff all look stymied for a moment, until Albert starts laughing.
Jeff: What? What is it, Albert?
Albert: You know, a long time ago I read that some amphibians can change sexes. And Majordomo Executus, the Sulfuron Harbinger, Shazzrah, Lucifron....
Tony: Unholy Arthas that's nasty even for me. Can you imagine what Ragnaros's pickup lines would be?
Jeff: "I AM RAGNAROS, AND I HAVE A REALLY F***ING BIG HAMMER! I THINK LIZARDS ARE HOT! INSIDE MY ROOM NOW, FOOL!!"
Albert, makes a face: Eeeewwww.... that's.... Ugh. That is just totally gross.
Jeff: Yeah, I feel really nasty just saying it...
The three look at each other, then start busting up laughing.
Tony: Ragnaros has a harem of LIZARDS! Bwahahahhaah!
We fade out of stratholme, still hearing the laughter of our fine fiends, who may have discovered something a little embarassing for the Lord of Fire. Will Ragnaros be angry? Will we Ever see Alex's masterpiece painting? Do I have actually have anything to eat in my fridge? Stay tuned!
End The Ghouls Chapter 10: Progression