- - by Razas
Chapter 9: Upgrades?!
We enter the city of Stratholme to find three of the four fearsome friends huddling by the gate, whispering nervously.
Albert: Dude. Something's going down. The Baron's all nervous and crap.
Tony: No kidding! And have you noticed something else? A whole lot of people moved out. Roger and Grenda, and their kids, all moved out, up on 4th. A whole hell of a lot.
Alex: Yeah, I know, it's confusing. Anastari says it's all just a shell game right now. We're moving troops around for some reason, but I don't really know why.
Albert: Think Kel'Thuzad has something up his sleeve... er, bone? Arm? I dunno.
Tony: That old Lich ALWAYS has something up his sleeve. Guy is crazier than a soup sammich. Roger and Grenda said they found some good real estate though in Naxxramas. Wish I could afford to live up there.
Alex: Damn, that's high quality. Wonder why the Baron isn't moving up there.
Albert: Simple, really. He's a cheapskate. Haven't you tried some of the coffee that he gets for the city? It's a low price goblin substitute of a gnome substitute of a night elf substitute. Besides, he'd probably say that he needs to run the city or some other crap.
Tony: Still, why's he nervo-
Tony is cut off as the Magistrate barrels through the street, shouting, Baron Rivendare must be warned!
Alex: Ah hell. Think it's a group of five or ten?
Tony: It better be a group of five. I mean, with everyone moved out, we don't really got a chance against a ten.
Albert: I hear that. I'm gonna take one of them down with me, I'm gonna make sure of that.
Tony: Doin' the strategy thing?
Albert: Yeah. My the#@!@$% says I'm starting to finally get over my issues with my family.... it's just so hard though!
Tony: patting Albert on the back There there, buddy.
Alex: Riiiight.... Hey, where's Jeff?
Tony: I dunno. He said he had to take care of something important in the back... he's been gone a while, though. Think he got stuck in the outhouse again?
Albert: I don't think so. He's made some real progress in that area. He even managed to unlock the door himself...
Alex: He unlocked the door by ripping a hole in the door.
Albert: I didn't say it was a good way, I just said he did....
As Albert says this, Viv and Jeff walk back the group. Viv looks particularly flushed a shade of purple, and Jeff is grinning from ear to ear.... literally. When you have that little of skin on your face, it's pretty easy to grin from ear to ear.
Jeff: Uh, hey guys.... chuckles
Viv giggles, as she kisses Jeff on the cheek and runs back to her group of friends a bit of a ways up the street. The other three ghouls simply stare at Jeff.
Jeff: coughs Uh... right.... heh....
Tony: You're a dog, man. Jeez.... And on the clock, too!
Albert: You could be in so much trouble right now, Jeff.
Alex: Yeah, you're lucky we're really cool.
Tony: Well, maybe Albert and I are, but not you Alex.
Alex: Shaddup, Tony.
Jeff: Yeah yeah, you just wish you were me right now, don't you Albert!
Albert: Whatever. I'm still dealing with my emotional-
THWAP THWAP THWAP!
Suddenly, three very large throwing knives are sticking out of Albert's head.
Tony: Group of Five people! They're here waaay early, lets take em down!
That doesn't happen. Jeff, still in lala land, trips and faceplants, making him an easy target for a rogue to finish off. Albert goes down after the warrior and mage make a few especially painful comments about his childhood, and his relationship with Bonky the Clown. Tony gets distracted by the cute priestess in the revealing robes, and gets cut down by a jealous rogue. Alex, being the pacifist, gets immolated almost immediately after the other three are down.
A few minutes later, the four are picking themselves up off the floor, grumbling.
Albert: I ain't never been smacked down like that before.
Tony: They wiped the freaking floor with us. Wonder why they are in such a hurry....
Alex picks up a book and starts flipping through it... : Oh.... Some idiot put a warrant out for the Baron. But you have to kill him within 45 minutes of entering the city.
Jeff: How the hell does the employer know that they kill the Baron in 45 minutes?
Jeff: Blaahh..... well.... what do you get for it?
Alex: Some kinda upgrade to armor or what not....
Tony: People are that greedy that they tear through our city in 45 minutes just to get a piece of clothing?
Albert: I was right with going with the Scourge. Everyone on the outside is becoming a bunch of greedy goblins! I wouldn't be surprised if the next batch were turning green and getting short!
Alex: Society sucks..... Ah! Aha! A vision! A dream, I have experienced, an epiphany of epic proportions! I have inspiration now for my next painting! Haha!
Tony: Ah... hell... here he goes....
Alex: It will be a true masterpiece! The Lich King himself will bless my painting! And it will not be a portrait, but a true work of art! It will.... he keeps going on for minutes about his painting, enraptured in his vision of a work of art, while the other three just mumble and grumble as they put themselves together...
Albert: Alex.... do us a favor and go start working on it....
Alex, barely hearing but still eager to get to work, runs off, forgetting one of his arms.
Jeff: Well, we aren't going to see HIM for a couple of days....
Tony: Hooray! Maybe now I can eat some people in peace without him whining that meat is murder.... which ours is, but still....
The three cackle, and we fade out of Stratholme....
End The Ghouls Chapter 9: Upgrades?!