- - by Razas
Chapter 1: Women Part 1
Light ash falls in Stratholme, like snow, as we come upon a group of four ghouls standing near the gates to the slaughterhouse. The Magistrate lopes by the group of ghouls, who let out a sigh as the supposed leader of the city hides in an alleyway.
They speak in a jabbering tongue, unknown to all except those who belong to the Scourge.
Albert: Crud, there goes the Magistrate. Guess we're gonna have visitors pretty soon. 'Bout time, though. Need to work out, and get some meat.
Jeff: Albert, you know we're going to get smashed down. They always come in groups of ten nowadays. We see 5 of them once in a blue moon... well, we don't even see the moon anymore. Not well, at least. Too much smoke.
Albert: Ah, shaddup, Jeff. Maybe we'll get a group of five. Then we can really get some food. I'm getting tired of the burned carcasses...
Jeff: Yeah... me too.
Silence for a moment.
Tony: Well, maybe we should go help? At the least, we'd get out a bit, and maybe go see Baroness Anastari. Oh yeah.
Albert: Tony, you have one major thing for the Baroness. What the heck is with that?
Jeff: Yeah, I mean, she is MARRIED to Rivendare. You know what he'd do if he found you with her? You'd be one of those dang skeleton bone piles. Or worse, he'd give you to Ramstein. He gave Bob to Ramstein last week for getting the coffee order wrong.
Tony: Serious? I liked Bob. So what Ramstein do?
Albert: Ramstein's got a few more arms, thats what. Sheesh.
Tony: Eh, I just won't get caught. Everybody likes a little bit of Tony ... even the married girls. Hoo ah!
General laughter from the Ghouls.
Alex: She's actually separated from Rivendare right now.
Other three: Whaaat?
Alex: Yeah. Has been for a few months now. We've been going out for a bit. Took her to the restaurant on 4th.
Tony: Kodo Crap! Total Kodo crap, Alex, you couldn't get a girl. You're worse than Jeff when it comes to girls.
Jeff: I am not bad when it comes to girls! I... just get a little tongue tied.
Albert: Yeah, so tied that it practically falls out of your mouth, and wraps around your legs...
Jeff: Shaddup, Albert! Besides, I don't know why anyone would want to go out with the Baroness anyway. I would so totally want to go with Jandice. Wooo whee... she's hot.
Tony: Been there.
Albert: You're bloody kidding me.
Jeff: C'mon... You're pulling my leg.
Tony: Nope. Have you guys forgotten? The Scholomance is the college for us. My cousin Lenny set us up.
Jeff: Oh... college girls... Ha! She pretty interesting?
Tony: Oh, yeah. And... the illusions? They sure don't feel like illusions.... *smirking grin*
Other two: Oh, HAHAHA! You've -- ha! That's awesome!
Albert: Oh, that is awesome. I'm jealous, so jea-OW!
Alex: Er, Albert? There's an arrow pointing out of your head.
Albert: OW! No, Really?! Ow ... OW. OW!
Jeff: Ah, looks like we got company. I'm counting... ten of em.
Albert: C'mon! Is it too much to ask for five of them? Seriously! Well, I'm gonna go tackle that night elf chick. I think she's the one that shot me.
Tony: Yeah, I think I'll go after that mage ... she'll keep me warm at night ... haha!
Jeff: Tony, get your mind out of the gutter ... ooh, wow, the one in plate is pretty hot. Kinda sexy, in "I'm a hardcore rough and tumble"-type of way.
Tony: Oh, yeah. Let's go!
Albert leads the charge, with Tony and Jeff close behind. Jeff stops for a moment, and kneels down to hold his foot.
Jeff: Doh! I sprained my ankle, stop, stop, I'm not ready.
Albert and Tony stop for a second.
Tony: Jeff! We're dead! We can't sprain an ankle!
Albert: Jeez, Jeff. Be a ghoul, for goodness sake. Alex, you gonna come?
Alex: Nope. I'm a pacifist.
Albert: crazy &(&*&%%....
The three ghouls continue the charge, and are promptly torn apart.
Alex: See, now, if you guys just hadn't attacked, I bet they would have just let you be -OW! That was uncalled for! I do not deserve a fireball to the- OW! That's it, babaggbagagbgbgabgag!
Alex attacks, and gets torn apart faster than the three together.
End The Ghouls Chapter 1: Women Part 1