- - by Razas
Chapter 5: Women Part 2
((Introducing Viv, the shadowmage! There is also a bit of humor that may not be appropriate for those under 13 later on in the Topic.))
We re-enter Stratholme to see three of the four fiends huddled together, talking in hushed voices. Jeff is walking back to the group, holding a large bleeding bag.
Jeff: Allllll righty then, let's see. Severed roast night elf head for Albert. Gnome Kabobs for Alex. Orc tenderloins for Tony. And Troll chewies for me. Oh, and I also got us all some elixirs, too. Nothin' like some good meat with good beer. Why're you guys huddled together?
The group breaks up, and Tony solemnly places a hand on Jeff's shoulder.
Tony: Jeff, we have something very serious we need to talk to you about. It concerns us enough that we have conferred together to help you.
Jeff: What, is this about my drinking? I can stop any time I -
Tony: No no no, we like it when you're drunk. We just need to get you a girl. You do like girls, right?
Jeff: Yeah ...
Tony: Any particular girl right now?
Jeff: Erm ...
Albert: Tony, you know he's got the hots for that shadowmage over there. What's her name? The one with the pretty brown eyes.
Albert points over to a group of shadowmages and necromancers, who are reading and relaxing, just chatting it up.
Jeff: Her name is Viv, and her eyes are blue!
Albert: My point is made.
Jeff: I ... gah ... ergh! I hate you.
Tony: You are going to go over there and ask her out.
Jeff: I will! I just need to get the right time.
Tony: No, you're going to do it now.
Jeff: Now? But ... but ...
Tony: Jeff, you've got to do these things while you're in the moment. It's not like we live forever ... ah, damn.
Alex: Crap. Didn't think of that.
Jeff: Ha! Since we do ... well, exist forever ... I ain't goin' over there until I feel the time is right.
Albert: You're going to go over there or I'm going to eat you.
Jeff stares at Albert for a second.
Jeff: Suddenly I feel the time is right. But what the hell am I going to say?
Tony: Be smooth. Romantic. Sexy. Challenge her thinking.
Jeff: Yeah, that's all well and great. But what am I supposed to say?!?!
Tony: *facepalms a bit* Jeff, my man, you've just got to DO it. There's no explanation for it. Just don't wuss out. Don't be a wuss.
Jeff: *turns a deep green* I am not a wuss. Fine. I'll do it.
Jeff abruptly turns and stalks over to the group of casters. He slows down as he gets closer, then spins and starts speedwalking back to the group.
Albert: *calling out to Jeff* Wow, this night elf head went down really fast. I'm still STARVING.
Jeff does another 180, and walks slowly over to the caster group again. He's mumbling, and is not paying attention to his footing. Viv and the other mages notice Jeff, and turn slightly to him. A small smile alights on Viv's lips... until she sees Jeff do a full on faceplant right into the street.
Viv: Oh Arthas! *she walks over to Jeff* Are you all right, Jeff?
Jeff: Aga uem ... da zom ta ta? Ermad agog out with food and me and?
Viv: *giggling* Not the greatest with words are you, Jeff?
Tony has gotten a bit closer and yells out to Jeff, "Tell her you're much better on your back!"
Jeff: Backy mo Zomg Gargle blargle?
Tony facepalms, and turns back to the group, "He's hopeless."
Viv: *giggling more* Right. Are you trying to ask me out?
Jeff gulps, then nods.
Viv: Well, you're funny, so why not. How about ... that restaurant on 4th and Slaughter, 6:30?
Jeff's eyes go wide, and he nods vigorously.
Viv: Good. See ya in a bit!
She saunters back over to her little group, as Jeff slowly sits up and walks over to the ghouls, a bit dazed.
Jeff: She said yes ...
High fives between the three other ghoul's.
Tony: All right! Who's the Ghoul? Jeff's the GHOUL! Yah!
Alex and Albert: Jeff's the Ghoul! YAH!
Jeff: Holy Arthas. Guys, I need to go get my nice clothes, polish my skull. I'll talk to you in a bit. Wooo whee! Haha, this is awesome!
The other three laugh and laugh as Jeff runs off to go get ready for his date.
Tony: All right, one down, one to go.
Alex: One to go? Wait, who Albert?
Albert: Nah, not me. I'm still recovering from my last relationship. I miss her so much ...
Tony: *rolls eyes* Albert ... you ate your wife. Hell, you ate EVERYONE you knew!
Albert: Still doesn't mean that I don't miss her. Though I don't miss the nagging ... or the cleaning ... or the work ....
Alex: So, me? What are you guys talking about? I've got a girlfriend.
Tony: Alex. I know it's nice and all ... but your claw does not count as a girl. I'm sorry.
Alex: Gah, Tony, sick man, sick. You know I'm not ... gah. I'm dating Anastari, man.
Tony: We ALL know that's Bull-
Albert: Speak of the devil ... here she is.
Albert points over Tony's shoulder, and dark ghost floats down the streets of Stratholme to the three. Tony slicks back his remaining tufts of hair, and winks at the other two. "She finally heard of me, obviously... hehe"
Tony: Well, hello Mistress Anastari. You're looking fine tonight.
Anastari: *glances down at Tony with mild disdain* Um ... yes, ghoul. I am fine. Alex, are you ready for our date?
Alex: Hon, I thought we set it for 5:30?
Anastari: Yes, I know. But Rivendare keeps calling, and I just had to get out of the ziggurat. You aren't busy, are you?
Alex: *sighs* Ok, Hon. Let me just go get ready. And you know if Rivendare keeps bothering you, you can just not answer.
Anastari: I know, I know. I'll meet you at the restaurant. He's probably looking for me right now. *ghostly sigh, and she nods to the rest of the ghouls* Nice to meet some of Alex's friends.
Tony's and Albert's jaws have dropped to their lowest point, and don't say anything to Anastari.
Anastari: ... erm ... yes. See you in a bit, Hon.
The Banshee floats off down the street.
Alex: *smirks* You were saying?
Tony and Albert look at each other, then burst out: WHO'S THE GHOUL?! ALEX'S THE GHOUL!
End The Ghouls Chapter 5: Women Part 2